Between everything going on with my mom and everything changing with my job, I’m finding myself in a weird state of being able to keep busy enough to ignore all the negative emotions…but when I’m done and there’s nothing happening, I just lose it and everything floods me.
I am worrying more than my mother would ever want me to about her. I just want her to be okay. She’s faced so much lately. I want her better. My job is another story. Things are just all around a mess there and it’s a challenge I’m facing. When not handling either of those two, I’m alone and surfing tumblr and taking care of my dog. I’m not even actively playing video games lately. I just sit.
There are things in my life that make me happy and I smile about those daily. I just can’t smile long enough. Quickly, I’m overwhelmed thinking of my mom and worrying about work.
I so desperately want to cut so I can have a release. I’m exhausted with my own mind.